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Promoting Positive Transitions in School-Age Children

Whether it be a big change in a child’s life or simply moving to the next daily activity, an important goal of childhood is to learn how to successfully manage transitions and it is important for parents to assist children in learning this skill. Learning to successfully manage transitions has life-long benefits. Children can begin to feel more empowered to face new situations with a greater sense of control and confidence. They can also learn to feel more relaxed when facing difficult situations that are largely beyond their personal control. 

Understanding Transitions
All transitions are not equal. Some require a lasting change in the child’s lifestyle, while others require adjustment to a temporary situation. In addition, some transitions occur repeatedly and as often as several times each day. Some children manage transitions well, or even seem to thrive on the excitement. However, other children respond to even small transitions with worry, argumentativeness, or other signs of stress. Difficulty with transitions may be especially apparent in children with developmental, emotional or behavioral disorders.

Lasting Changes
Some transitions that require a lasting change in the child’s lifestyle include moving to a new neighborhood, parental divorce, birth of a sibling and changing schools. With these types of transitions, it can be helpful to begin preparing the child in advance and once the parents have a good amount of information about the changes that will take place. It is important to help the child recognize the potential positive changes that may result, and it is important to acknowledge some of the changes that the child may dislike. It is also important to take into account the child’s personality and developmental level when deciding how much information to provide and when to provide it. Some children feel more relaxed and in control when they are provided with many details of the upcoming situation at one time. Other children prefer to be given information more gradually. If parents do not know whether their child wants to hear more information now or would rather hear it later, it could help to ask the child what he or she would prefer. In addition, parents should avoid burdening their child with information about a stressful transition that may not occur. For example, if the parents have not yet decided whether they will have a marital separation, they should not expose the child to their decision-making process. This will only subject the child to worries that may overwhelm them.

Temporary Changes
Examples of transitions that require an adjustment to a temporary situation include going to an overnight camp for the first time or being hospitalized for routine surgery. Many times these can be managed similarly to the more lasting transitions discussed above. However, if the transition is to a temporary situation that is optional and supposed to be fun for the child, it is important to closely involve the child in the decision-making process. For example, when a child goes to camp for the first time, the child should have input regarding the type of camp activities they will pursue and how long they will feel comfortable being away from home. Of course, parents must make the final decisions because children can be unrealistic in their expectations and they do not always know what is in their own best interests. It is important to note that if the child’s attitude about the transition is mainly negative, it probably is not a good idea to force the child into it.  The child may need other life experiences to help him/her prepare for the transition, or it may simply not be a good fit for the child’s personality.

Everyday Changes
Children also experience many small transitions on a frequent basis. Some of these transitions include changing classes or activities during the school day, discontinuing an activity to eat dinner, or leaving home to go on an errand with a parent. If the child has difficulty with these types of transitions, it can be helpful to provide advance warning of an upcoming transition. For example, notify the child 10 minutes before the transition is to occur. Then provide additional reminders 5 minutes and 2 minutes before the transition. It is also helpful in these instances to let children know about something that they can look forward to as a result of the transition. For example, they may be less resistant to turning off the television for bedtime if they are reminded that a parent will read their favorite book to them once they are in bed.

Parents have many opportunities to support and help children with transitions that occur every day and in every stage of childhood. Viewing these as learning opportunities can be helpful for all involved. With each transition that is managed successfully, the child is likely to learn additional skills. These skills can then be used by the child to more effectively deal with future challenges.

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